this blog has moved

For some reason, when I started blogging, I decided to try two different blog hosters. I like both hosts, but decided it would help to have them all in on place, so here is the new link to this blog:

http://morethanpi.wordpress.com

a battle of the sensitivities

For an interesting read on over-excitabilities: http://www.hoagiesgifted.org/dabrowski.htm

I've been doing some research on Dabrowski's over-excitabilities and I'm wondering how we even survive some days around here! We've got one child who is hypersensitive to sounds, smells and textures - particularly food textures. This same child, who can have a complete meltdown because somebody is humming off-key has a little nervous squawky, snorky throat-clearing habit, which drives his mom, who is also hypersensitive to sounds, and textures (particularly clothing textures). Another child is emotionally hypersensitive, however has no problem making repetitive noises simply for the purpose of driving the aforementioned child (and mom) totally up the wall.

One of us is hypersensitive to food smells and textures. One of us is a vegetarian. Three of us love meat. Two of us chew too loudly, which another two of us are extremely aware of and annoyed by. One of us can't stand the sight of someone with food on their face and two of us frequently end up with food on their faces. One of us throws his food and sometimes utensils at the table. Yet, we manage a family dinner every night.

Two of us are insomniacs and incredibly light sleepers, while the other three of us snore and make strange noises in our sleep.

Three of us are allergic to dust mites. None of us are tidy or like to clean. Two of us are allergic to grass, but love to be outside.

One of us is sensitive to noise, chaos and is claustrophobic. All of us live in an 800 square foot house . . . and are very noisy.

And chaotic.

kids and the internet

I'm wracking my brain to figure out the right amount of internet for our kids. We are primarily a Mac family, and on our Macs, we can very easily control which websites they can visit. We have recently added a couple of PCs to the mix for Osmo. In case you haven't figured it out, we have a ridiculous number of computers, running and not, at our house. Between my husband and I, we are working on 4 at this very moment. We seem to have become a magnet for all of our friends' (and their friends') outdated computers and parts. So anyway, I'm pondering the world of email addresses / internet access for the kids. It would be useful for Osmo to have his own email address. However, if he has one, his incredibly social younger sister who is only 8 thinks she NEEDS one! Yikes.

So, I'm not too worried about Osmo and the internet. I will always check in with him and his computer frequently just to see what he's been up to. In fact, I got on my computer the other day and saw that he'd googled "world's hardest math problems." And then he clicked on a link for "super-impossible math questions". Now, he's scribbling in a notebook, trying to figure out the millennium math problems, while watching his favorite college football team on TV with the sound off, and listening to a professional basketball game on his headphones. I asked him if all of these things going on in his head at once were confusing. He seems to be slightly more successful at multi-tasking than his tired mom.

There have been studies about the connections between math and music abilities. This week, Osmo had his Dad quiz him on complex math equations while playing a song he had memorized on the piano. He had no problem keeping the tempo steady while figuring out the answer, but slowed down a little while he said the answer aloud. I need to get the video camera out and tape him - the grandparents will get a kick out of that! He also crossed his hands and played the parts in the opposite octaves.

We had parent-teacher conferences at school this week. While we've always worked with his teachers to make sure that he is appropriately challenged at school, I commented that I don't really worry about it. Not only is he in a Montessori school, so he can work at his own pace, and he chooses work that is interesting and challenging but he is constantly finding ways to challenge himself. It's like breathing to him. And if he isn't sufficiently challenged at school, he comes home from school and works on any math or physics problems he can find/create, writes music, reads, or invents a new language

Oh, but you wouldn't know anything about that . . .

I hear that a lot. Someone will be discussing some issue their child is having at school, and they'll turn to me and say, "Oh, but you wouldn't know anything about that. Your kids never have any problems with school." So not true. Most gifted children have as many or more problems with school as anybody else.

We have been really blessed with a superb school situation. My kids are in a K-8 Montessori school. They have had the privilege of having equally gifted teachers who recognize their abilities and know the importance of keeping them challenged. Their teachers have had the insight and flexibility to know when they need to supplement the Montessori curriculum with say, an algebra text book. But even with these advantages, we've had struggles. My children aren't like I was . . . when I was bored in the first grade, instead of getting in trouble, I pretended to be reading the same page as the rest of the class, when in actuality, I was reading, or re-reading ahead in my books. My teachers didn't recognize that I was gifted, in fact they wanted to pull me out and put me in special education for reading help because every time they called on me to read aloud, I had no idea where the rest of the class was. I was usually several pages, or chapters ahead. I did my math work and coloring with my left hand so I wouldn't finish as fast.

But keeping my children engaged, challenged and out of trouble is more difficult. Things like perfectionism, boredom, social quirks, intensities and sensitivities all result in difficulties at school. I have never worried too much about my children being adequately challenged because I knew if they needed more stimulation than they are getting at school, we have the ability to supplement their education at home. There are a lot of gifted children that don't have that at home. Can you imagine how frustrating it would be to go through life without being challenged? Knowing that you are capable of so much more than you are allowed to do?

Even in the ideal situation, gifted children can struggle with school. Just when I think everyone is getting what they need at school and at home, someone will have a crisis. And we have to reevaluate, restructure, and find another path. It's an ongoing process. Keeping gifted students engaged in school and at home is challenging, exciting, fun, overwhelming, dynamic, and constant. Some days we succeed with flying colors. Other days, not so much.

they steal my breath . . .

Every night, before I go to bed, I slip in quietly and watch my children sleep for a couple of minutes. Every time I watch them sleep, I am amazed at how, seeing their bodies and minds totally at peace, brings so much peace and calm to me. They are all so intense, emotionally and physically, and spending a full day with them is exhausting . . . but so rewarding. And then to see them so still, breathing in such a calm, quiet way . . . it steals my breath, every time.

I always whisper something to them, thinking maybe they'll hear my message better when they aren't distracted with the outside world. Last night, I whispered, "You are so beautiful" to Zara. Then I thought if I'm sending them subliminal messages, maybe my messages should have more substance. So I whispered, "You are so smart and good at math." We sometimes joke about the confidence that is exuding from this child - she once told me that she couldn't think of a single thing that she wasn't good at. However, when I look and listen really closely, I know that sometimes her confidence is actually a lack thereof. Following a brother who picks up high level math and science concepts as naturally as breathing, and who read as a toddler, could rob anybody of confidence. But she is incredibly smart in her own right, as well as artistic and intuitive. She is good at math, she is good at forming a hypothesis and doing the research or experiment to confirm or reject the idea, she has a great vocabulary and she is artistic, passionate, musical, athletic and caring. And I never want her to doubt that, so I will continue to whisper these words to her when she is sleeping.

I am flabbergasted.

Lately, Pip has taken to gasping loudly in a startling high pitch. I complained about it and he looked at me and said, "It means that I am flabbergasted." When I didn't reply right away, he took that to mean I didn't know what flabbergasted meant and said, "You know - urfrised." (surprised.) I love his vocabulary - even though some of his pronunciations are a little tough to decipher. You know, because he's three. Or according to him, three-and-a-half-eleven and six.

what better way to spend a casual no-school day . . .

than to relax on the couch, feet up, wrapped in a solar system sleeping bag, reading pamphlet #1 of the voter's manual, creating a ballot and voting on the measures for the upcoming election. He's eleven, and knows that these wordy, sometimes poorly-worded measures are as important as who we elect next month. He understands, all too well, how much is at stake next month. It's a lot of pressure for an eleven year old. Regardless of the turnout, what an amazing, educational, sometimes frustrating adventure this election process has been for him. The question is, knowing his interest - and stronger understanding than most adults - in the democratic process, do we let him stay up and watch the results roll in? Or knowing his intensity, and potential for upset if things don't go the way he thinks they should, do we shelter him?

I think we'll risk it, get out the cozy sleeping bags, curl up on the couch together as a family and hope for the best.