they steal my breath . . .

Every night, before I go to bed, I slip in quietly and watch my children sleep for a couple of minutes. Every time I watch them sleep, I am amazed at how, seeing their bodies and minds totally at peace, brings so much peace and calm to me. They are all so intense, emotionally and physically, and spending a full day with them is exhausting . . . but so rewarding. And then to see them so still, breathing in such a calm, quiet way . . . it steals my breath, every time.

I always whisper something to them, thinking maybe they'll hear my message better when they aren't distracted with the outside world. Last night, I whispered, "You are so beautiful" to Zara. Then I thought if I'm sending them subliminal messages, maybe my messages should have more substance. So I whispered, "You are so smart and good at math." We sometimes joke about the confidence that is exuding from this child - she once told me that she couldn't think of a single thing that she wasn't good at. However, when I look and listen really closely, I know that sometimes her confidence is actually a lack thereof. Following a brother who picks up high level math and science concepts as naturally as breathing, and who read as a toddler, could rob anybody of confidence. But she is incredibly smart in her own right, as well as artistic and intuitive. She is good at math, she is good at forming a hypothesis and doing the research or experiment to confirm or reject the idea, she has a great vocabulary and she is artistic, passionate, musical, athletic and caring. And I never want her to doubt that, so I will continue to whisper these words to her when she is sleeping.